Last night John and I discussed babies...as of this morning I am canceling our discussion from last night on. Why? Read on...
My morning so far:
5:51 am-Cooper who normally sleeps until 7:45 or later crawls into our bed...wide awake
6:00 am-After listening to John tell him to be quiet I give in realizing my face is throbbing anyways (I am only 2 weeks post surgery, 4 weeks to go). I get up, change his diaper, and make the requested chocolate milk (aka chalky)
6:10 am- TV is requested. I see an opportunity to turn the TV on and meet my husband back in bed. He wants Thomas the train so I put that on. Wait he doesn't want Thomas. He wants Cars. I put that on. Wait, no he wants Shrek, which is still in my purse from taking it Grandparents. I locate my purse and put Shrek on. No never mind King Cooper wants Cars after all so I put that on and run (actually sprint) out of the room before a new request is made.
6:20am- Back in bed to find husband playing on IPhone NOT asleep. I try to fall back asleep as he decides to try to talk.
6:30am-Cooper comes into the run and wakes me up to tell me he wants to now watch Flinstones in his room and needs me to do it. I get up and set it up...not even bothering to walk downstairs and turn off Cars. During this time husband escapes to computer downstairs.
6:40am-Cooper decides to crawl in bed with me and wants to watch TV in my room. Awesome. Somehow I find Sprout and once again try to fall asleep and ignore my throbbing face.
7:00am- Cooper runs into the kid's bathroom where John has decided to shower to remind John not to play with any of his toys. A lesson on sharing begins (for the record John was not playing with his toys).
7:10am-John leaves for work. Kisses me goodbye. Cooper refuses to kiss then chases John down the hall begging him to kiss him.
7:15am-Cooper begins crying because John forgot to hug him. I hand him a teddy bear to cheer him up. I give up on sleep. The Wiggles are on so I opt to read a book on parenting by Alex McCord of Real Housewives fame. I always like to read a book on parenting so I can block out my own child. Nice.
7:30am-Cooper begins tossing his bear in the air and catching it right beside me. Bear hits me in the face. The same face broken in 4places. I cry. Cooper is scared. He stops throwing bear.
7:35am-Cooper wants my attention. To achieve his goal teddy bear hits me in my face. Teddy Bear gets put in top drawer of chest of drawers. John gets called but can't hear me over two-year-old screaming. I cry some more in pain. John comforts, tells me to beat said two-year-old, and lets me go.
7:40am-I give bear back to end crying and talk about throwing and hitting Mommy in the face.
7:50am-Bear hits me in the face. I cry. Bear is now dead. I get a diet coke, take two Advil (I'm alone with the two-year-old so pain killers are out), and lay back down with child.
7:55am-Cooper asks for some coke. I let him have a sip. He spits it all over bedroom floor. Great. 8:00am-I give up. I put Dora on TV and try to escape to shower. Two-year-old follows and sits in the bathroom with me while I shower. He turns lights on and off, finds my hair brush, and uses it as a drumstick on my toilet, shower door, wall, floor, etc. Of course I can't yell because of broken face.
8:05am-Take away hair brush. Redirect Cooper to Dora. Get ready. My mom calls. I try to stay calm so she doesn't worry.
8:15am-Get Cooper breakfast. He sees Cars from earlier and wants Mater and the Ghost light. Turn that on. Check e-mail.
8:30am-After restarting Mater twice (It's only 7 minutes long) Cooper wants more food. Get more food.
8:35-Kill the bug that has Cooper crying.
8:40am-Clean up more spit out diet coke that Cooper found.
8:45am-Clean up from Cooper's breakfast.
8:55am-Cooper starts playing with trains. He is definitely pooping in his diaper. I ignore this fact and decide cleaning up poop (in his diaper) is worth getting 15 minutes free (Cooper has to be alone to poop).
9:00am-Take to blog to vent and scare all my child-less and pregnant friends.
9:09am-Feel mildly better. Getting ready to change poop diaper. Hoping face doesn't get kicked. Waiting for Becca to get here to help.