19 days...but who's counting?

19 more days until I get both my upper and lower jaw bone broken and reset. Sound fun anyone? I am absolutely terrified.

For awhile I would YouTube video search people who had documented their similar surgery. Big mistake. I had nightmares until finally John forbid me from watching anymore videos (and we all know I do everything he says-ha!). Now I find myself thinking about the surgery all the time. Trying to tell myself it will be fine, I'll recover quicker then anyone else ever has...and then I remember the all liquid diet I will be on for 6-8 weeks. The same diet that most people lose 15-20 pounds on (heavier people 30-50) and then I almost fall apart again...mainly because I am terrified of how my body will react if I lose 15-20 pounds...putting me anywhere between 85-90 pounds at 5'4. Gross.

And then there is my precious two-year-old who won't understand why Mommy can't hold him-if he touches my face or hits my jaw it could mess everything up and well, hurt! Cooper and I do everything together and for a little while Cooper will be doing everything with John, my mom, and my dad. Not exactly how I like to parent.

So everyone pray on May 25th I make it okay (because of course I am also terrified of being put to sleep and not waking up). And if anyone wants to come make me milk shakes or smoothies (that have to fed through a syringe because I can't suck a straw) I'm sure John will be willing to turn me over to your care...because what my husband doesn't know yet is I'm a horrible patient. There is a reason my mom volunteered to watch Cooper and not me:-).